I love being a “boy-mom!” I have three boys! I have my 3 1/2 year old, my 2 year old and my one month old! I LOVE being their mother! I love being a boy mom because I love knowing that I have 3 little men in my life. There are a lot of bad men in this world. Everyday you hear about men doing bad things. They kill, fight and are abusing women. When that thing went around Facebook showing all of the women who had been sexually harassed (or worse) by a man I started getting really sad. I REFUSE to raise men who would treat a woman in that way. I have a BIG responsibility in this world to raise my small little boys in a way that they become good men. I want to raise good men, good husbands and good fathers. I LOVE that I get to help make a difference in this world by raising the men of the future. When I say, “I love being a boy mom” it NEVER means that I wouldn’t be happy or equally excited to have a little girl. I would love having a little girl too, but I certainly don’t feel like I am “missing out” by not having a girl.
I have met several people who say that they wish that I could have a girl, I then say “I love being a boy mom” and their response shocks me every time, “that is because boys are easier.” And THAT statement breaks my heart every time. Moms and Dads are ALREADY telling girls that they are harder. Mom’s wonder why their little girls sometimes feel subservient to men, but they don’t realize that ever since they were little girls their moms were telling everybody that they wish they had boys, because their lives would be easier! If mom’s saw the faces their little girls gave them when they expressed how much easier their sons were, moms wouldn’t say this horrifying line anymore!
I don’t understand why when it’s 2017 (almost 2018) and we are STILL making girls feel like their aren’t as good as boys. Usually after people say, “boys are easier” they then go on to explain all of the faults that their daughters have, “they are more emotional, catty, mean, they cry more etc.” Then oftentimes the boys get to chime in and explain why they are in fact the better gender. This is such a defeating and hurtful habit that we have. Why do we STILL lump genders into one personality trait? Why are we STILL saying, “men are….” “women are…”
Let me be real here (sorry brother…I am throwing you under the bus). My sister and I were MUCH easier than my brother. Yes, we were a little bit more emotional than Aaron. I had severe (suicidal) depression and people had to be really gentle with my feelings. However, Emily (my little sister) and I never caused my parents to pull their hair out. I have never been grounded and I have never really been punished. In high school my sister and my mom were my best friends. In fact, I don’t ever remember an argument that I had with my dad in high school. I have never left the house without my parents permission, I never drank or smoked, I don’t ever even lie to my parents. On Friday nights I would be at home watching the Office. My brother was the “typical teenager.” People told my mom that my brother would be way easier as a teenager, because “boys are easier.” They were ALL wrong!
I have three sons. One of them is only a month so we aren’t quite sure where his personality will take him, but we have a good grasp on the other two. Boys are easier? Right now I am hearing my children beating the crap out of each other. Literally, I tell them that we don’t hit in our house and yet every couple of seconds I get a child crying with a big red hand print on their face. We don’t allow bats, sticks, swords or or anything similar in our home because they will instantly beat the crap out of one another if they have these things. They throw things, jump off things onto each other and refuse to sit still! You know what, yes they are boys, but you know who else does these things? My sweet beautiful niece Hazel. In fact, sometimes, my sweet adorable niece is the one to start it! She is the scrappiest out of all the grandchildren. Although she is feisty, she also loves Elsa and Anna and loves to dress up! She picks out her clothes and likes pretty things.
My son Duke loves to play with trucks and love to fight. He loves trains, action figures and legos. However, last night grandma was showing Hazel how to do ballet and Duke was SO excited to learn how to dance. He wanted to learn how to do all of the ballet positions and even showed grandma some of his dance moves. He loves to play sports, he loves to play video games, but he doesn’t like getting dirty. He loves to play with dolls, change their diapers and place them in their beds.
We seriously need to STOP with the gender stereotypes. Let’s just let kids be who they are. I don’t want Duke in dance (only because I don’t like dance and I know I would have to go to dance recitals haha). But when it comes down to it I will let my boys be in any activity that they want. My boys will not be stopped by their gender. I DO believe that people were born the right gender. I DO believe that people were born to be their gender. I believe that boys should be men, be married, have children and be awesome husbands. I DO believe my little boys should work someday and support their family. But, who in the world made the rule that my boys couldn’t be in fashion. Who said that my son couldn’t be emotional. Why can’t my son cry? Why are YOU telling your daughter that she is more difficult because she is girl?
Let us STOP belittling girls because they are girls. How are we supposed to create strong women if we continue to tell them that they are weak and emotional? How are we supposed to raise strong men if we continue to tell them that they aren’t supposed to be emotional and cry?
No, girls are not more difficult because they are girls. Each child is different. Each personality is different regardless of gender. Love your babies based on who they are, not based on their gender!