When I was pregnant with my first I ONLY wanted a boy. Of COURSE I would have been happy with a little purple princess, but I was stoked to have my boy. It was weird, when I told people I was having a boy they would frown sometimes and say, “well maybe next time you will get your girl.” I would tell them, “I wanted a boy.” They seemed shocked! Like, why would a woman want a boy? I had a lot easier time getting a long with boys growing up. Heck, I understand men a lot more than women. So, I just thought a boy would be easier to ease me into parenting. I LOVED having my little boy and I would not have changed it for the world! Duke was a GREAT first child and he is such a good boy!
When I got pregnant with my second, I heard it again, “I hope it’s a girl” or “do you want a girl this time?” I totally understand why people say this. I totally understand the question of, “do you want a girl this time?” Heck, I have asked this question before! I don’t think it’s rude and I know why people ask. They assume people want both genders. But, I had one woman who was in the swimming pool with Duke and I and she overheard I was pregnant (when I was pregnant with Colt) and said, “hopefully it is a girl so you can be done!” This made me a little upset. First of all, who are you? Second of all, who said I even wanted a girl. Lastly, why would I be done after having a girl? This question hurt my feelings because it made it seem as if I would only feel complete if I were to have both genders. She made it seem if I had a boy then my heart would feel empty because I had two boys instead of a girl. Believe it or not, I wanted a second boy too! I wasn’t quite ready for a girl yet. I wanted to ease into it haha.
When I had my ultra sound and I figured out I was having a boy. I was SO excited! I would love a whole herd of boys if that is what is written in the stars for me.
Now, I am expecting my third baby after having two miscarriages. We chose to have another child, because we wanted another healthy fat baby that we can watch grow. We didn’t have another one to “try for a girl.” People have already started asking, “do you want a girl this time?” And I respond, “I just want a baby!” After having two miscarriages, I have NO opinion! To be honest, my husaband would kind of like a girl, but I know he would be happy with a boy too! I am fully preparing myself to see a little boy on the ultrasound monitor in a few months. It is okay if you ask me if I want a girl. But, PLEASE don’t say, “hopefully it’s a girl.” Why? Why do you hope it’s a girl? Are my boys not good enough? If I had another boy would he not be as good as a girl? I did hear somebody say, “I hope it’s a girl so I can give you all of my stuff!” I laughed at that haha but saying, “I hope it’s a girl” makes it seem like little Bruno won’t be as good as little Cleopatra. And that just isn’t true at all!
People are constantly telling me what I will have. “You are going to have all boys!” or “I know that you aren’t ever going to have a girl.” and my ULTIMATE favorite “You are a good mom to just boys.” Well, yes, I do believe I am a good mom. I try really hard. I put my kids first. I do everything I can to help them grow. BUT my parenting isn’t gender specific. I would raise my little girl just the same as my boys. My boys turned into boys all on their own. Before Duke could even sit up he was laughing at farts and picking up items to pretend to shoot people (where he learned this I will never know). And then Colt has been super aggressive and has always loved to wrestle. My boys are ALL boy! I will raise my girl just then same and follow along with whatever she would like. Yes, I raise great boys! But, I would be a great girl mom too!
I would LOVE a girl next. But, you know what? I would LOVE a boy next! And I will not be in the least bit depressed to find out that I am having another boy. I won’t feel incomplete. I won’t feel like I am getting the short straw. I would love my three boys and I would cherish them. And if Derek and I decide to have a 4th it won’t be “to try for a girl” it will be to “try for a healthy baby.”
I could be a mom of 12 boys and I wouldn’t feel like I missed out on anything. I wouldn’t feel like Heavenly Father was picking on me. I LOVE my boys! And I will continue to LOVE my boys! If I never have a girl I won’t feel like I didn’t fully experience motherhood. I won’t feel like I am not a “real mom” and I won’t have thoughts of emptiness. I will be a little concerned with dealing with my daughter-in-laws though. I might be a little protective when that time comes.
Plus, I have nothing to do with the gender. 🙂 That would be all up to Dereknd Heavenly Father hehe