Although I come off as a confident and “have it altogether” type of gal. I am absolutely completely terrified of rejection and I am horrible with critique. When I was in my internship I thought I was doing everything right. When the time came to have my review I knew there was nothing they were going to tell me that I needed to work on. I walked in proudly to talk with the people over my internship. The director of the Parole Board raved about my knoweldge and called a few places to see if they were hiring to tell them that I was “dynamite.” And then I talked to one of the parole board members and they gave an amazing reference. I felt amazing. I then went to talk one of the women about how I did and she started talking about what I needed to work on. I knew I had stuff to work on, but I didn’t want it to be vocally stated. What she told me wasn’t that bad. She told me that maybe I should try to be a little less silly in some of the serious situation ( I was only 20 and I make silly jokes when I don’t know what else to do) and instead of chalking it up to a successful internship I was devastated. I didn’t complete my full day, because I couldn’t hold back the tears. I ran back into my car and sobbed for about an hour. It tore me apart and I had a sour taste in my mouth even though I had a great internship, I learned a lot, I met some amazing people and some day I would love to work for the Parole Board.
Although fear of rejection is a real thing and it is a scary thing, fear of rejection isn’t what keeps me from my full potential. Fear of critique is way scarier than just being rejected. I don’t mind being reject, but I am scared senseless to hear WHY I have been rejected. Fear of critique is one of my biggest weaknesses. I know what most of my weakness are. BUT when people tell me what they are it kills me more than anything.
2016 ended. 2016 wasn’t that perfect for the Christensen family. You can read the post that talks about all of the bad luck that my little family had to deal with it HERE! Most of the things that happened to us that we really struggled with were things that we didn’t have any control over! BUT the good things that didn’t happen to us could have happened if I would have done something about it!
I thought about my goals for 2017. And every. single. one of them is “safe.” None of them require for me to break out of my shell. I am an extremely outgoing person, but I care TOO much about what other people think.
This year I am going to get out of my “comfort zone.” 2017 is my year of no fear. I refuse have the fear of critique. There is NO room for fear in this year.
Last night, my husband and I were watching the wonderful “Shark Tank.” If you have not seen the show it is about entrepreneurs who present their business in front of investors (“sharks”) and then the sharks can choose to invest. I sat in awe last night staring at these investors. And then Barbara Corcoran started talking about how when she first wanted to be a strong business woman she had a fear of failing and she wanted to be the best, but didn’t want to put herself out there. I saw Lori Greiner in the background nodding her head. What sets these people apart from me? Why are they sitting on national television with millions of dollars to spare while my husband and I are sitting her wondering how we are going to make a down payment on a used van? The difference? They overcame their fear of failing and just believed in themselves. I do believe in myself. But I am afraid that nobody else will.
My eyes shifted to Mark Cuban. Oh Mark Cuban. My favorite “shark.” Whenever I think about doing something I think about Mark Cuban. Would Mark be afraid of doing this? If he would have let fear control him would he be a billionaire? Um No. Granted he is a lot smarter than I am. WAYYYY smarter! But I look at Lori, Barbara and Kevin. Are they really that much more intelligent than the average bear? No. I am not trying to knock them in any way. The thing that sets them apart is the fact that they never gave up, they believed in themselves and they didn’t let fear dictate their potential.
2017 is MY YEAR! I am going to push this blog hard, but I am branching out and I am going to do things in addition to this blog. Its only January 8 and I have already been rejected to three different job opportunities, but that is NOT going to stop me. I am going to try to become a Freelance Writer. I haven’t became a writer up to this point, because I was terrified of sending in a project and being told that “it wasn’t good enough” or “I wasn’t good enough.” But, if I never try, I will never know. 2017 is the year of no fear. In December 2017 I don’t want to be saying, “Dang I should have done ____ this year.” NO! In December 2017, I am going to say ” I am SO glad I did ____ this year!”
Bring it on 2017! You don’t scare me!