My husband and I made the decision for me to stay at home with the children before we were even married. With that decision comes a lot of sacrifices that other families don’t face. One of the biggest challenges is managing to live on my husband’s entry level salary. One income that’s all. One income is pretty difficult in a two income society. Although living on an extremely tight budget poses some difficulty most months; there are so many benefits in staying home, but “keeping house” should not be one of them. Never once in our decision for me to stay home was “then I get to keep the house clean” brought up, because that’s not why I am staying home. I don’t stay home so that I can keep things tidy, stay on top of the laundry or make sure that dinner is on the table when my husband comes home. Let’s make things perfectly clear…my hubby has never once suggested that I’m not doing my “job” at home. I’m my worst critic. In fact my hubby helps out around the house when he gets home!
There are some days that my clothes sit in the washer, because I want to take my children to the park on a sunny day. And yes I have to re-wash them because of the mildew smell. There are days where the dishes stack up because my toddler wants me to chase him around the house. Most days my baby screams all day unless I hold him! So the 20,000 abandoned toys on the ground will just have to wait.
I love my job as a stay at home mom. But most of the time “mom” doesn’t mean just “watch the children” most of the time mom means “maid, chauffeur, chef, counselor, errand runner, personal shopper, referee, stylist, food source (if you’re nursing) and the list goes on depending on your family’s dynamic.
During the day I feed, change, bathe, play, read, sing and plan activities for my children. I manage my blog, take surveys and do product testing during their naps (if I’m lucky enough for my toddler to take a nap). I clean up and do random projects. By the time Derek comes home the house looks like I didn’t do much and dinner is still in the fridge unprepared. Unless I managed to throw in one of my freezer meals!
The thing is….my kids had a great day!! We laughed, learned and played! And THAT is why I stayed home.
The purpose of this post is to tell you moms that just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you need to do it all! Mom doesn’t mean superwoman (even though we sometimes feel like we have to be). I know…you’re looking at Suzie Q over there who has the perfectly clean house, best dressed children and manages to craft all day! My sister-in-law Chelsea is one of these women! She’s not human I swear! But for all of us human mothers…it’s okay if the dishes aren’t done, the house isn’t perfectly tidy and the kid’s clothes don’t match. You’re doing great mommy!!!
I’d much rather be able to tell everybody how much I did with my children as opposed to how clean my house is.
My children will know that their mom cares more about them then the dishes (as is perfectly noticeable due to how much our dishes stack up: I hate dishes)
Of course that’s not an excuse to live in a dumpster. We aren’t gross. We don’t live with gross stuff (as in there isn’t things growing places except for the children) but I’m just saying that a stack of clothes doesn’t hurt anybody! The toy box that your toddler vigorously emptied and then walked away from doesn’t have to be cleaned right now. And if it’s sunny outside you put those dishes down and get some much needed vitamin D!! Even Chelsea chooses vitamin D! 😉 (Did I mention she’s perfect).
I have sometimes gotten angry at my children because I wanted so desperately to clean the house and surprise my hard working husband when he would get home. Every day I envision him coming home into our perfectly put together house! But like most days when he gets home all I have to show for the day is everybody is still alive including myself! I constantly have to decide which is more important: my house or the children. My children ALWAYS win!